


You should have-

by orphan_account



Series: Haikyuu!!- Text Fics [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Texting, and sex jokes cus terus a hoe, rated teen for mentions of sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24629968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Haikyuu Captain's Chat!!
Relationships: Everyone & Everyone
Series: Haikyuu!!- Text Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805761
Comments: 8
Kudos: 68





	1. Why him??

**Author's Note:**

> screen names:  
> Daichi- Dadchi  
> Bokuto- bokubro  
> Kuroo- kubroo  
> Oikawa-☆ﾟ･*:.｡.☆†_(ﾟ▽ﾟ*)β☆.｡.:*･ﾟ☆  
> Ushijima- Ushijima Wakatoshi  
> Terushima- teruteru

**[Volleyball Captains!!]**

[Friday, 3:55 PM]

**Dadchi has created Volleyball Captains!!**

**Dadchi has added ☆ﾟ･*:.｡.☆†_(ﾟ▽ﾟ*)β☆.｡.:*･ﾟ☆ and 3 others**

**  
  
**

**☆ﾟ･*:.｡.☆†_(ﾟ▽ﾟ*)β☆.｡.:*･ﾟ☆:** oo dai chan

**☆ﾟ･*:.｡.☆†_(ﾟ▽ﾟ*)β☆.｡.:*･ﾟ☆:** whats this?  
  


**Dadchi:** hello oikawa

**kubroo:** oya

**bokubro:** oya oya ****

**kubroo:** oya oya oya ****

**bokubro:** BRO

**kubroo:** BROO

-cut for length-

**kubroo:** so

**kubroo:** why are we here ****

**Dadchi:** this is a group chat with volleyball captains

**Dadchi:** if you have anymore captains you want to add go ahead ****

**bokubro has added Ushijima Wakatoshi to the group**

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Hello. ****

**☆ﾟ･*:.｡.☆†_(ﾟ▽ﾟ*)β☆.｡.:*･ﾟ☆:** EW WHY IS HE HERE

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Oikawa, you should have

**☆ﾟ･*:.｡.☆†_(ﾟ▽ﾟ*)β☆.｡.:*･ﾟ☆ has removed Ushijima Wakatoshi from the group**

**☆ﾟ･*:.｡.☆†_(ﾟ▽ﾟ*)β☆.｡.:*･ﾟ☆ has renamed ☆ﾟ･*:.｡.☆†_(ﾟ▽ﾟ*)β☆.｡.:*･ﾟ☆ to NO NEVER**

**Dadchi:** Oikawa, no

**NO NEVER: ˵ ╥ ͟ʖ ╥ ˵**

**Dadchi has added Ushijima Wakatoshi to the group**

**bokubro:** HEY USHIBRO

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Hello Bokuto

**NO NEVER:** (҂｀ﾛ´)凸 ****

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Hello Sawamura.

**Dadchi:** hello ushijima

**kubroo:** hello ushijima san

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Hello, who are you?

**kubroo:** im kuroo tetsurou from nekoma

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Hello Kuroo san, I am Ushijima Wakatoshi from Shiratorizawa.

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Sawamura san, may I add another captain?

**Dadchi:** sure

**NO NEVER:** wowww

**NO NEVER:** im surprised you have other friends ushiwaka chan (*。0 – 0。*)

**Ushijima Wakatoshi has added teruteru**

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Hello Terushima.

**teruteru:** hiiii

**teruteru:** what's thsi

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** This is a group chat for volleyball captains.

**teruteru:** o okay

**teruteru:** who r u guys 

**Dadchi:** Sawamura Daichi from karasuno

**NO NEVER:** Oikawa Toru from AOBA JOHSAI NOT SHIRATORIZAWA ;P

**kubroo:** nekoma kuroo tetsuro :3

**bokubro:** hEY HEY HEY

**bokubro:** BOKUTOU KOUTAROU FUKURODANI

**teruteru:** hiiiii

**teruteru:** im terushima yuuji!!!! ****

**NO NEVER:** what team?

**teruteru:** WILD CATS!!

**NO NEVER:** I-

**NO NEVER:** can I kick him?

**teruteru:** nooo

**teruteru:** I love group chats!!

**teruteru has renamed NO NEVER to prettiest setter <3**

**prettiest setter <3: **

**prettiest setter <3: **he can stay


	2. mom™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> screen names:  
> Daichi- Dadchi  
> Bokuto- bokubro  
> Kuroo- kubroo  
> Oikawa-prettiest setter <3  
> Ushijima- Ushijima Wakatoshi  
> Terushima- teruteru  
> Moniwa- moniuwu

**[Volleyball Captains!!]**

[Saturday, 4:58 AM]

**teruteru has added moniuwu to the chat**

**teruteru:** I added another captain!! 

**teruteru:** oh wait 

**teruteru:** none of you are awake

 **teruteru:** ig ill wait then :p

[Saturday, 7:02 AM] ****

**moniuwu:** um, hello?

**teruteru:** hi moniwa san!!!!!!!!!

**moniuwu:** oh, hello terushima

 **moniuwu:** what is this?

**teruteru:** its a volleyball captains groupchat!!

**moniuwu:** oh I see

 **moniuwu:** hold on I have to bail futakuchi out of jail

**teruteru:** oh

 **teruteru:** byeeeee

[Saturday, 9:24 AM]

**kubroo:** im sorry

 **kubroo:** w h a t happened

**teruteru:** futa is in jail again

**kubroo:** but why

**prettiest setter <3: **wait

 **prettiest setter <3: **again?

**moniuwu:** he picked a fight with a police officer ****

**moniuwu:** again

 **moniuwu:** anyway

 **moniuwu:** terushima

 **moniuwu:** how do you know futakuchi?

**teruteru:** I know evryome!!

 **teruteru:** im terushima!!

**bokubro:** whoaaa tHATSA SO COOL

**kubroo:** what why that's kinda creepy

**moniuwu:** how do you know futakuchi?

 **moniuwu:** if its bc he picked a fight with you I apologize on his behalf

**teruteru:** oh

 **teruteru:** nah

 **teruteru:** I saw him crying in the park one day and gave him hug and we hung out after

 **teruteru:** hes chill

**moniuwu:** WAIT WHY WAS HE CRYING

 **moniuwu:** WAS HE ALRIGHT

**kubroo:** damn

 **kubroo:** mom mode

**teruteru:** he was sad

 **teruteru:** so when's he getting out

**prettiest setter <3: **HOW DID YOU KNOW USHIWAKA CHAN

**moniuwu:** WHAT DO YOU MEANHE WAS DSA

**kubroo:** I JUST REALISED OIKAWA ISNT THE PRETIEST SETTER

**bokubro:** OH WAI THYEAH

**prettiest setter <3: **EXCUSE ME

**teruteru:** ohhh that one guy from fukurodani!!!!

 **teruteru:** hes so prettyyyy

**bokubro:** WHOAAA YOU KNOW AGAAASHI TOO??

 **bokubro:** THATS SO COOL

**moniuwu:** futakuchi was sad?? excuse me?? 

**prettiest setter <3: **I AM THE PRETTIESTS STERER

**teruteru:** lol no

**teruteru has renamed prettiest setter <3 to oof**

**oof:** rUDE

**bokubro:** oh yeah

 **bokubro:** how dO you know ushibro? ****

**teruteru:** oh yeah!!

 **teruteru:** it was at a practice match!!

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Good morning.

**teruteru:** good morning waka chan!!

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Good morning, Terushima.

**teruteru:** so anyway

**oof:** bWAHAHAHAH WAKA CHAN

 **oof:** TERU CHAN CALLS USHIWAKA WAKA CHAN

 **oof:** HAHHAHAHAHA

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** You could too, if you had come to Shiratorizawa.

**oof:** nO

[Saturday, 10:07 AM]

**Dadchi:** what the heck just happened


	3. bullying oikawa at 4 am ft. cat and 5 yr old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> screen names:  
> Daichi- Dadchi  
> Bokuto- bokubro  
> Kuroo- kubroo  
> Oikawa-oof  
> Ushijima- Ushijima Wakatoshi  
> Terushima- teruteru  
> Moniwa- moniuwu

**[Volleyball Captains!!]**

[Sunday, 4:01 AM]

**teruteru:** GUSDY

 **teruteru:** GUYSSS

 **teruteru:** GUASYYYY

 **teruteru:** GUYS

 **teruteru:** GSUYYYY

 **teruteru:** GUYSSSSSSSSS

 **teruteru:** IMCRYI BFGGGG

 **teruteru:** IMSOBN IGNGGGG

 **teruteru:** AAAAAAAA

 **teruteru:** DO YPOIU FEEL MY SADDNESSSSSSS

 **teruteru:** WAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **teruteru:** IM SOBBINGFFGFGGGGGG

 **teruteru:** IMVERU SADDDDDDDDDDDDDD

**oof:** wHY ARE YOU AWAKE AST FORU AM

 **oof:** SOME PEOPLE NEED BEAUTY SLEEP YAKNOW

**kubroo:** lol

 **kubroo:** you might need to go into hibernation

**oof:** UGH

 **oof:** RUDE

**moniuwu:** are you alright terushima!!?

**oof has renamed moniuwu to mom™**

**teruteru:** NO IM NOT OKAY

 **teruteru:** IM CRYOINF

 **teruteru:** LIKE

 **teruteru:** ITS JUSTR SO SADDDDD

 **teruteru:** AND IUMCTRYUNIG AND SHIT

 **teruteru:** WAAAAAAAAA

**mom™:** is everything okay?

**teruteru:** no

 **teruteru:** I realized some things

**kubroo:** damn

 **kubroo:** that's never fun

**teruteru:** I JUST REALISD HOW MUCH OF A HOE I AM

**oof:** at four am?

**teruteru:** yes???????????????

**mom™:** oh if that's all ill be going now

**oof:** you can't be a bigger hoe than me

**teruteru:** lol with that ass?

**oof:** WHAT ABOUT MY ASS?!?!?!

**teruteru:** its flat as hell :P

**oof:** uGH

 **oof:** RUDE!!!

**kubroo:** bWAHAHAHAHA

 **kubroo:** hes right tho

**teruteru:** oh right!!

 **teruteru:** oikawa sannnn

**oof:** no

**teruteru:** oh okay

**kubroo:** wow oikawa

 **kubroo:** being rude to your underclassmen again

**teruteru:** yeah! T-T

**oof:** wait

 **oof:** you're telling me

 **oof:** hes younger than us

**teruteru:** im in snd yearrrr

**oof:** aND YOU INSULTED MY ASS

 **oof:** SO RUDE

**teruteru:** what ass

**kubroo:** (=①ω①=)

**  
oof:** I-

 **oof:** I came out to have a good time

 **oof:** and this is what I get

 **oof:** I can't-

**kubroo:** it do b like dat sometimes

**oof:** yOURE LIKE 5

 **oof:** IM BEING INSULTED BYT A 5YR OLD ****

 **oof:** AT 4 AM

**teruteru:** im only a year younger??

**oof has renamed teruteru to literally five**

**kubroo:** bro

 **kubroo:** a five year old has a thicker ass than u ****

 **kubroo:** a five year old that neither of us know what they look like

**oof:**

**oof:** I NEED PROOF

**literally five:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**oof:** NO NOT LIEK THAT

**literally five:** u sure  ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°

**kubroo:** pedo alert


	4. oikawa the p3d0ph1l3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> screen names:  
> Daichi- Dadchi  
> Bokuto- bokubro  
> Kuroo- kubroo  
> Oikawa-oof  
> Ushijima- Ushijima Wakatoshi  
> Terushima- literally five  
> Moniwa- mom™

**[Volleyball Captains!!]**

[Sunday, 3:43 PM]

**bokubro:** all I got from that was that oikawa is a pedo ****

**oof:** nO IM NOT

**literally five:** bruhhh

 **literally five:** you asked for n00ds

**bokubro:** yea bro that's.....

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** OIkawa, that behavior would not have been tolerated at Shiratorizawa.

**oof:** well good thing I dont go to Shiratorizawa then

**kubroo:** cause ur a pEDOO

**bokybro:** oHHHHHH

**literally five has renamed oof to pedo**

**pedo:** iM NOT. A PEDO

**kubroo:** but that's exactly what a pedo would say....

**mom™:** um im not sure what's going on

**literally five:** oikawa is a pedo and hes in denial

**mom™:** oh

 **mom™:** okay

 **mom™:** wait what

**Dadchi:** what

**pedo:** IM NOT A PEDO

**kubroo:** hmm

**bokubro:** hmmm

**literally five:** your name suggests otherwise....

**pedo:** im-

 **pedo:** im so done

**pedo has left the chat**

**literally five has added pedo to the chat**

**literally five:** you can't leave!!

**pedo:** why not!?

**literally five:** its a rule!!

 **literally five:** rule #1- you cant leave!!

**pedo:** uhh no its not

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I wasn't aware that there were rules,

**literally five:** chi chan, mom, make it a rule!!

**mom™:** why?

**Dadchi:** why should we?

**literally five has renamed Dadchi to choke me daddy**

**literally five:** I mean if u dont wanna I could always come over...

**choke me daddy:** new rule it is

**literally five:** mom?? new rule plz

**pedo:** hold on why dont we get a say in this

**bokubro:** they're mom and dad of the group

**kubroo:** we cant argue

**pedo:** well dam

**mom™:** well I dont know...

**literally five:** whyyyy

**mom™:** I mean

 **mom™:** people should be able to leave if they want to

**literally five:** now what if I told you ill crash Dateko practice and steal futa if it isn't a rule

**mom™:** oh

**literally five:** what about if I told you how I broke futa out of jail that one time

**mom™:** whTA

**literally five:** OO ILL TELL YOU WHY FUTA WAS A SAD BOI THAT ONE TIME

**mom™:** wait

**literally five:** pls make it a rule

 **literally five:** if u dont ill bother u till u say yes :((

**mom™:** I-

 **mom™:** yes?

**literally five:** yES 

**choke me daddy:** ok new rule guys

 **choke me daddy:** you cant leave

 **choke me daddy:** someone change my name

**pedo has renamed choke me daddy to choke me with your THICC thighs papi**

**literally five:** choke me papi

**choke me with your THICC thighs papi:** change it back

**kubroo:** si papi

**kubroo has renamed choke me with your THICC thighs papi to Dadchi**

**kubroo:** and at the end of the day oikawa Is still a pedo

**pedo:** NO IM NOT

**bokubro:** sureeeee


	5. meet snekky snek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> screen names:  
> Daichi- Dadchi  
> Bokuto- bokubro  
> Kuroo- kubroo  
> Oikawa-pedo  
> Ushijima- Ushijima Wakatoshi  
> Terushima- literally five  
> Moniwa- mom™  
> Daishou- snekky snek

**[Volleyball Captains!!]**

[Monday, 5:56 PM]

**pedo:** so how did the child know ushiwaka anyway

**literally five:** I know everyone!!

**kubroo has renamed pedo to flat**

**flat:** im-

**flat has left Volleyball Captains!!**

**literally five:** noooo

**literally five has added flat to Volleyball Captain!!**

**literally five:** don't leave us kawa channnn

**flat:** kawa chan??

**mom™:** you cant leave anyway

**literally five:** so basically Johzenji beat Shiratorizawa in out first practice match and waka chan asked for my number and I thot we were gonna hook up but he just wanted more practice so yeah

**kubroo:** sorry w h a t

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I can confirm that that is how we met.

**flat:** so

**flat:** did u bang?

**literally five:** no :(

**literally five:** I didn't even get to give him head >:00

**mom™:** w h a t ?

**Dadchi:** why did I ever think you were innocent

**literally five:** wdymmmm

**literally five:** innocent is my middle name!!

**bokubro:** whoa really??

**kubroo:** no hes not serious bro

**bokubro:** oh

**literally five:** hey daichi those thighs of yours ;)

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Sawamura's thighs are very eloquent, they look very strong.

**literally five:** eloquent indeed

**literally five:** so dai chan, you wanna meet up later ;)

**Dadchi:** no

**literally five:** well dam

**literally five:** hey kawa channnnn??

**flat:** ew no youre five

**literally five:** oh wait ur flat nvm

**flat:** wOW OKAY

**mom™:** terushima how did you meet futakuchi??

**flat has renamed literally five to brat**

**brat:** he was crying in the park so I talked to him and we hung out

**brat:** wow thanks flatty :P

**brat:** oh!! also

**brat has added snekky snek to Volleyball Captains!!**

**brat:** I met another volleyball captain!!

**kubroo:** tERU

**brat:** what?

**kubroo:** hOW CouLD YOIU

**brat:** did I do something?

**snekky snek:** dw hon you did nothing

**snekky senk:** kuroo is just a very mean man :((

**brat:** oh okay

**kubroo:** gaaaaasp

**kubroo:** nOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**bokubro:** ???

**flat:** this is corruption 

**snekky snek:** I've done nothing of the sort

**kubroo:** liESSSS

**Dadchi:** he was too corrupt to start with

**brat:** you can't tell me waka isn't packing

**mom™:** oh dear god

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Packing? I wasn't aware that I was going somewhere.

**flat:** goodness gracious

**snekky snek:** waka? as in Wakatoshi? Ushijima Wakatoshi?

**Dadchi:** yeah

**kubroo:** yeah he is u dumb fuck

**snekky snek:** gasp

**snekky snek:** so rude :((

**kubroo:** I-

**brat:** wow kuroo youre so mean!! 

**brat:** I thot u were a good guy ig not :((

**kubroo:** what

**kubroo:** I-

**bokubro:** no way!! kuroos my brooooo he's a good guy

**mom™:** maybe we should stop fighting

**flat:** *sips tea*

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Kuroo san, I would advise against calling people a 'dumb fuck,' especially since Daishou has done nothing wrong.

**kubroo:** nOTHING WRONG!?!?!?

**flat:** *sipping intensifies*

**snekky snek:** wow kuroo is so mean ill leave if you done want me here :((

**flat:** *MUCH MORE SIPPING*

**Ushijima Wakatoshi:** If you wish to leave you are allowed to do so.

**kubroo:** wOWWW making mE look like the bAD gUy

**bokubro:** nooo I'm sorry for making u sad you aren't a bad guy :((

**kubroo:** bro...

**bokubro:** what?

**mom™:** nonono you can stay!!

**brat:** no brooo stayyy

**brat:** sugu channnnnn

**brat:** stayyyy

**brat:** I miss uuu

**brat:** I want u hereeeee

**flat:** I mean I don't really care if hes here

**brat:** come backkkkk

**brat:** shut up flatty

**brat:** suguruuuuuuuuu

**brat:** stayyyyy

**snekky snek:** well since you all asked so nicely 

**snekky snek:** ill stay

**kubroo:** bastard

**snekky snek:** cat bitch

**mom™:** what

**kubroo:** sEE

**kubroo:** HE WAS ACTING HES ACYUA;;Y6V A B ICTH

**snekky snek:** just a little bit ;P

**kubroo:** THAT IS A LIERRRRRRR RIGHT VEJHRE

**kubroo:** HES A LYING BICYH

**snekky snek:** so vulgar

**kubroo:** LIES ROLL OFF HIS TOUNGE LIKE ITS NOTHING

**brat:** what dat tongue do doe

**snekky snek:** why dont you come find out

**brat:** im glad I haven't left Tokyo yet

**brat has gone offline**

**flat:** wHAT

**kubroo:** oh hELL NO

**bokubro:** uhh

**kubroo:** istg if they hook up

**snekky snek:** shut up u just jealous you cant get some

**flat:** oof

**snekky snek:** and youre jealous teru got more cake than u

**flat:** WHAT NO HE DOESNT

**snekky snek:** well im about to find out

**snekky snek:** cya loser after I get laid  
  


**snekky snek has gone offline**

**mom™:** oh

**Dadchi:** oh indeed


	6. eheh uhh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so uhh

hiya I think I'm gonna orphan this work cuz I don't really like where its going but like at the same time I dont wanna delete it??? but yea

sorry :P


End file.
